Thinking- a common activity of our brain. It’s seldom that we realize what power thinking gives us. The power to have opinions, to agree, to contradict, to express, to feel. It was only today that I was thinking ( yea, thinking) about this wonderful thing that our brain does! It helps us have a view that distinguishes us from the rest of the world, that shapes our perceptions, that carves out an identity for each one of us in this world.

Thinking is one strange thing. When at night, I am lost deep in thinking, my mind wanders off to places, to everything, right from this world, the book I might be reading, to the gravest of issues, like the conventions of the world, the common occurrences of human behavior, why the people won’t stop committing heinous crimes, to the patriarchal frame of our society, to trying to get into other people’s shoes, and get an idea of their plight, what I never had to face, what I never felt, but just thinking about it makes all the difference for me, and soon I have to rub my eyes to be able to see.

It’s really weird how people can be so different! Mankind- it shows just so much of diversity! In that house, I see that woman trying to make money so that her children can do what she never did- go to school and break out of the shackles of penury- the only thing they inherited from her, while there, on that corner, I see that pickpocket, that con, caring not whether the money he just swindled, was the bonus that man had just received from his boss- he had wanted to buy his daughter new books- not second hand, should her friends mock her, he could almost see her smiling inside his head……

I read about women activists, trying to blaze a trail for women so that a day may come, when they might see a world where a woman gets the same place that a man does..while at times, I hear about women who themselves having been through  a similar fate, now running trafficking rackets, pushed down the lane, with an ‘eye for an eye’ blazing in their head, not realizing even once that the girl they just sold, had had a whole future before her, and now, her life has been blown away in a whirlwind of crime and avarice…

There I see a man, walking the streets, supporting the ‘slut walk’, fighting for and with their female counterparts, and just yesterday, those men, who started with eve-teasing, raped a girl, who was coming back from school, with her eyes twinkling with excitement to tell her mother how well her field trip had been, but now has only tears, and trauma in those bruised eyes…

It’s funny how contrasting people’s characters can be, and how unexpectedly, they change..some set a trail for others to follow, while some set it ablaze with their hatred and insensitivity! It really surprises me to think that some people( and that means most of them) still live surrounded by the shackles of prejudice, who still believe that a woman be judged by her clothes and that it was ’her’ fault, who would watch a crime take place and just add anecdotes to their experience, but won’t try to play their rightful part, who still believe a homosexual has no right to live in the mainstream, who still feel love is a crime, while honour  killings aren’t, who still would give their male child everything he doesn’t even deserve, but won’t spend a penny on their daughter’s education, who still would ask a girl, ‘if she was sure’, who, inspite of their abilities, still, wouldn’t let their children, for once, do what they want to, who still live in the 18^th century, for whom the ancient ways preserved is a world saved, who won’t look beyond their stubborn opinions, …it’s thinking about the likes of them that I feel terrible anger, and shame, that yes, we have changed, progressed, but only materialistically, only when it comes to arenas like ‘technology’ and ‘crime’! Inside, we haven’t let go..we haven’t moved on..and it’s this shame that fills me with perseverance, that a day will come, when I shall make a difference and we all will too, when at last we will look beyond and embrace the changes, not outside, but within us, and it’s that day when the world will be a different place, and our children will live to see, that yes, at last, we have MOVED ON!!!!!!..:).:(

Escape

Ever had so much stress that it feels like its gonna break your bones? Well, we teenagers are experts at emphasizing and magnifying our troubles! But let me tell you, being a pessimist is not a great option. How you perceive the world, in a positive or a negative way, matters a lot in life, and this story here is an example. So read on...



There was nothing actually wrong with his life. All was good. After all, he was just a kid. He was just making a big deal out of the smallest of snags. He was just being paranoid. “Ok I’ve got to stop with the self pity”, he thought to himself. But somehow he couldn’t bring himself out of his trance. He knew what others would say. “Distract yourself. Listen to music. Do something you like.”. “Yeah like I haven’t heard that a thousand times already”, God he was so easily irritated today.

Something didn’t feel right. Even the music did nothing to soothe him like it had done for so many months. It just seemed to disturb him today. He slammed the door on his way out of the house. No one questioned him as his bike roared to life and he was gone in a flash. The wind playing with his long hair did nothing to lift his spirits. The long distance his bike seemed to swallow at an enormous rate did not make him feel like a king today. He just felt like he was headed nowhere…just a long road leading nowhere, into nothingness.

A few minutes into the seemingly never ending ride, he reached his favorite spot. As he carefully parked his vehicle, he made sure like always that it could not be seen. He deliberately left his cell phone wrapped in his jacket on his bike and started walking. He walked for a few minutes and finally reached the lake. It was his ultimate escape. Like a child’s secret, he had clutched the existence of his place to himself, never to be shared with anyone. He had discovered this place a long time ago when he was just a kid. Going away for a “long drive” on his brand new bicycle, the 8-year-old him had uncovered one of the most beautiful worlds by literally falling into it. Except that as he walked over to his favorite spot beside the lake, he learned with a surprise that it was already occupied.


The girl turned around at the sound of his footsteps and did not seem to be surprised seeing him at this secluded spot.” So there is someone who knows about this paradise”, she drawled lazily as she dipped her hand in the cool water and waved it around before pulling out a perfect round stone from the water and gazing at it. She made no move as he sat down beside her and asked her, “Do you also come here often? I thought no one came to this place.” “So did I” she replied. “”I also live in the next city. I sometimes come here to relax. And you?”She continued without taking her eyes off the shiny stone.

“I come here to escape” his reply was simple.

“From what?”

“What do you mean? My life of course.”

At this she laughed lightly and turned around before replying, “You think the world depends on you, don’t you? You have all the problems to worry about. If you want to escape, may I suggest a more permanent escape than sitting here in the middle of nowhere for a few hours and then going home as if nothing happened?”

He was surprised by her sudden cold tone and struggled for words. As she saw him shaking his head in desperation, she stood up and let out an exasperated sigh. Looking down at him, she said her final words of wisdom-“you know what? If I were you, I would try to cheer up and not be a pain for the ones I love. You are young. Stop acting like the president of the USA and lighten up. Stop creating problems for yourself and enjoy while you can. You will regret these very days thinking to yourself why in the world you never thought about taking a dip in the cool water instead of throwing stones in it.”

Finishing her short speech, she paused for a moment before turning to go but then changed her mind. She looked back at the dumbfounded boy before her and bent down, took his hand in hers and placed the small stone in his palm.” Think of it as a beautiful piece of the earth, a gift of nature, not as a hard rock that could be thrown away without a second glance. The way you look at things matter a lot, you know.” She said as she walked away.

He watched her walk away in the direction of the city. He came back to his favorite spot and decided to take a dip in the clear lake after tucking the small stone in the inner pocket of his jacket. The wind whipping his hair seemed to be caressing him, and he felt like a king as his bike swallowed up the long distance like a hungry giant on the ride back home.

Didn't say it

“It hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return 

But what is more painful is to love someone and never find courage to let that person know how you feel”

We’ve all heard of the cliché “Love at first sight” haven’t we? But have you ever fallen for someone right when you saw them? We all tend to call it ‘Cheesy’ or ‘Impractical’ or even ‘Stupid’. But that spark, that explosion of emotions inside your head at that moment is like something you’ve never felt before. When you meet that person, your drab life suddenly turns into a quixotic tale. Well most of us can discard such “dross” feelings, but there are some of us who don’t have the power to do so, such people are unable to forget that person and as for those feelings ….. Well, let’s just say that those feelings never change, come what may. But the most important thing that we tend forget is that - liking someone is contiguous to telling them about your feelings.  But we try to eschew the situation where we tell the person everything. Due to the fear of rejection, people make a consonance with their heart, the consonance to keep their feelings to themselves. This is where a person begins to lose his self belief. Telling someone about your feelings is not wrong. It’s about gathering courage and telling the person the truth and nothing except it.

“It’s better to say too much,

  Than never to say what you need to say”

Today, this post is about the story of one such person. The story of my friend who loved a girl but was too scared to tell her because he thought she would never feel the same. My friend’s story, Shaurya’s story ……..

Shaurya had always been the most curious, inquisitive, loud, contumacious boy his teachers had ever taught. He had friends, all of them guys. He wasn’t shy talking to girls, but he just never felt that pull to talk to any girl. Maybe that was because he hadn’t met the one, the one who was not like any girl he had ever seen. Shaurya never thought that he would ever fall in love with a girl; he thought that it was stupid ... And falling in love at that very moment when you see a girl … Sheer nonsense!!!! But when he saw her for the first time ... That girl, she had a radiant face, beautiful eyes, a captivating smile and above all, a magnetic personality. She was Diya.... And from then on, Diya became the centre of attraction; she was the best at whatever she did, every word that she spoke felt like a breath of fresh air, all the guys in the class tried to fawn upon her to grab moments of her attention.... But Shaurya didn’t, or actually, he couldn’t.... He had never felt this way for anyone before. This girl had changed a feral into someone else, someone different, and someone better.... He was confused... He didn’t know what had happened to him ... But there was a fact that Shaurya wasn’t ready to face, a hard fact- Shaurya had started liking Diya, and she had become an important part of his life.

The days went as he stayed up all night, as he could not help thinking about Diya- her smile, her eyes, EVERYTHING! It was like he was riding an emotional rollercoaster, she ruled his dreams he began losing self control. It was like Diya was the end of the world to him, all his thoughts started as well as ended on her. He was too abashed to tell Diya about how he felt, he never considered himself to be half as good a guy who deserved to be with Diya. While most of his friends who felt inclined towards Diya discussed their feelings amongst each other, Shaurya desisted mentioning her name to any of them, and he tried to hide so that no one would know. He had some things that he would love telling Diya about, but frankly, he was too scared, so he rather chose to speak to her ordinarily since that felt like the best option, but he promised to himself that he would tell her someday, someday later. Though he didn’t plan on telling Diya, yet he did everything possible to grab her attention … Everything from funny ‘one liners’ to most of his silly antics had one objective – to make Diya smile.

” The greatest gift you can give to someone you like a lot is your time because you are giving them a portion of your life that u will never get back”

Childhood- ever thought about it?..well, it is such a paradoxical phase of life !... when I was a child, (I am a teenager now..:P), all that I wanted was to grow up, to claim the sky as my own, to do what I wanted to, and now, oxymoronic as it seems to me, all I want is to go back in time. Obviously, then, it was all very innocent, all my wishes, all my ambitions, all my accomplishments!..I do remember, it was a time when being reprehended for not doing h.w. or getting low grades in a test meant a lot to me !...Crying at the slightest and now, that I realize, the stupidest moments, was all too much a part of everyday, not that it isn’t now ( only the reasons have become more serious, but I guess, in some years, they too will be in my category of ‘stupid’). When being asked to sit with a boy meant the ugliest punishment, When opinions were most affected by what people around me thought, I’ve grown up to craft up my own beliefs that have been shaped by my experiences, my conscience, and my mistakes, of course. When broken hearts were nothing more than a fight with a friend over some petty issue ( like a place to sit). When hurting meant physically, nothing more. When I couldn’t understand why mom had changed the channel (:D..i do the same now). When all we thought of guys was as ‘losers’ ( remembers the girl-boy thing?..girls are best ?.:D) When goal meant getting a good score, or getting the new ice-cream in town( remember telling your parents about it?) . When all tension meant was bagging a place in the annual play. When acceptance meant you? When wants meant ‘getting a new video game’?..When hurting someone was confined to laughing when someone fell, but getting them together when you saw them crying?..It all seems a thing in the past, doesn’t it, now? When bad manners meant taking more chocolates than you ought to ?..When lying meant making an excuse for not doing your assignment?..When you didn’t know what being innocent meant, ( “do u mean that puppy dog face”?..:P), while all you were was that, all the time!..well, that is what makes it so beautiful!..the naivety that surrounds children!.. . Then, I was not scared to say what I felt like, because I wasn’t scared of people judging me..! When I entered the long-craved teenage( as we call it), the first issue was of my best friend outgrowing me, and believe me, it was tougher than i thought. Then, I was not judged by the clothes I wore, not by how I looked, nor by the number of people I knew! They never took me as a ‘means’. Well, as we grow up, we become more ‘thoughtful’, I suppose, thinking more about how to get what we want, and our priorities change. If that is what growing up means, today, I long to live those moments again!..I don’t want to be someone who is more affected when the guy she likes( who doesn’t even give a damn about her) is fretting over losing a game, rather then when her friend is in a problem far worse than she should be!..i don’t want to be someone who cares more about how she looks, than caring about what she, as an individual can do to change the scene for the better. I definitely don’t want to be someone, who watches as the shy girl in the corner, breaks down, because she isn’t even given a chance!. I don’t want to be someone who just cares whether she is accepted, and makes fun of those who aren’t!..I DON’T WANT TO BE SHALLOW! Well, i am not blaming teenagers( I am one too!), what i condemn is our ignorance and that bigot-attitude!..Remember that fat girl who could never answer you back, because she knew it would never end?..Remember that guy with the ‘uncool’ tag who was a marvel at chess, but was tired of being picked on? Remember that girl you used to tease, saying,’ what do you have a mouth for if you don’t speak?’..Remember that girl the whole class left alone because she was such a baby?...Well, some of you may remember being on one end and some on the other!..Why do we have to pick on people?..why do we have to make them lose their confidence?..Bullying?..well, Is that what strength and popularity means?..You know what, crying doesn’t mean you are weak, but bearing it all does. If there’s somebody who doesn’t please you, who thinks being a bully ( be it simple ‘picking on’ or ‘extreme bullying’) is being strong, just remember that it is not something that makes them strong, rather it is a weakness. They do what they do because they are cowards. Before somebody else picks on them, they do it. But people, be it bullies or the victims ( a strong word, yea?), just get one thing straight, KARMA’s a bitch!..What goes around does come back around! And if you have something today, it doesn’t mean it will last forever!.,.and if you don’t, well, it will find a way of coming to you sometime or the other..SO keep that in mind, and think before you call somebody something that you wouldn’t want to be called! For once, try to step in their shoes, and I bet, you’ll see!..Stop accepting it the way it is!..We may not realize, but it often leaves a wound so deep inside, that it’s impossible to heal!..Don’t be led down that road!..Be a fighter!( I don’t mean it literally..:P)..Remember, what is their right is yours too, and vice-versa. Remember, if they wouldn't have raised their voice, and believed in themselves, the racist-scenario could never change, nor could we have ever become the country we had never never even thought of!..well, these are issues too strong! but,Never surrender, act as if you don’t care, and believe me, it would eventually stop. And most importantly, remember ‘every dog has his day!’…SO, why not tell them that? Face them with all your confidence, stand up to what you feel isn’t right, and see where you end. Attitude and confidence matters a lot. Don’t be all ‘an eye for an eye’, but tell them that you are what they can never even think of being, ‘You are what you are!’, and nothing and nobody in this world can change that!

Dear teenagers,

Ever realized what the hell u are doing with your life?
Nobody keeps their middle school friends forever, u will fail a math test once in ur life,n maybe more than that.:P..ur teachers will assign u seats away from ur friends, and ur parents will assign u to ur room when u do illegal stuff. You're going to get drunk and say something u'll regret! You're going to cry over boy's names dat u won't even remember in twenty years! You're going to call ur friends names behind their back when they make u mad, and they're going to do the same to you. You're going to be on your own once in a while, thinking of how mean everyone is, and how u don't belong, but eventually it'll all become fine!  Your opinions of people will change, once u get to knoe them, n u'll be like, "to hell with the first impression thingy"!..You're going to run from situations, be grateful one day and ungrateful the next! You're going to find one book in english class dat you actually read! U're gonna discover ur likes and dislikes along the way, n there'll be a time, when u'll be like,"this is what i want to do! i've finally found it!" ..People are gonna make fun of the music u like, and other people are going to like it just the same! There'll be ppl who hate u for sum reason, n others who will love u for the very same one! You're never going to finish all your homework! You're going to cry, and maybe, need a hug from your mom. You'll feel like your friends are all that mean to you, and be backstabbed, and realize maybe you were wrong! You're going to bullshit every essay you write, and pray that you sound like you knoe what you are talking about! You're gonna fail, rise up, fail again, feel like everything's over, but then end up doing sumthing even better! U'll believe, have faith, and lose it all the same! You're going to sing at the top of ur lungs, when nobody's home, and dance whenever u get a chance! You're going to dream of finally getting out of ur town, and you're going to miss it when you leave! You're going to take pictures, being called 'self-obsessed' and after five years, thinking,"did i really look like dat"?.. You're going to be whistled at, cheated on, yelled at, ditched by ur friends, played by boys, laughed at! You're gonna fall in and out of love, and one day u mite really figure out what that word means! You're gonna be judged, despite what u do, ! You r gonna explore, dream of living ur life ur way, and even end up doing dat! You're never gonna stop looking for urself! you r a teenager, so stop trying so hard, expecting so much, crying so often,. Walk with ur head held high, quit talking shit about ppl, take a walk outside, go to school and smile at everyone! Dream, and don't be afraid! After all, you r here tO learn! So, keep learning as you go, keep doing and following ur mind and heart! And who knoes, what u might end up doing!  Who knoes, u might really make it through!..:)